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Post by Daft Punksworth on Nov 19, 2012 14:16:08 GMT -5
I called work to find out about the truck tomorrow...
Margie: Thank you for calling Dollar Tree, this is Margie, how can I help you...
Me: MAAARRRGIIIEEE~~~
*silence*
Me: how was your vacation was it good? This is Zoe.
Margie: OH! Zoe! I was like 'who is calling me acting like a retard?'
XD
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Post by Daft Punksworth on Nov 26, 2012 21:59:33 GMT -5
(Prescript: Hellbender is a local species of really big salamander... or really big for us.)
Mom: You'll never guess what another name for a hellbender is!
Me: Big fat wrinkly salamander?
Me: Pteramander? *pff zoid joke sorry*
Mom: Nope! Snot otter! : D
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Post by GhostLiger on Nov 27, 2012 11:25:40 GMT -5
Ew!
Also, I was at the bus stop the other evening and there was a group of people waiting nearby. I couldn't help but hear this little gem
"Nobody dies... Well actually 2 people die... 4 people die... All the people die, there's only animals left."
I haven't the foggiest what the hell they were talking about.
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Post by Daft Punksworth on Nov 27, 2012 14:27:25 GMT -5
XD Oh that's rich. Suuure no body dies.
ETA the phone conversation just now with my manager over the late late late truck.
Margie: So the truck missed the ferry, meaning it won't be here until 530. What do you say?
Me: I say that's awful late.
Her: Yea. Kim's got plans, so we're a man down, do you have anything going on?
Me: Nope, not at all, I don't have a life.
Her: Oh come on, think of something! If you can, we can do it in the morning instead of so late!
Me: ... I have dinner plans?
Margie: You have dinner plans! Okay! Tomorrow at seven, then.
XD Can you tell truck in morning is much better than truck at night? XD
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Post by GhostLiger on Nov 27, 2012 14:44:03 GMT -5
LOL! Gotta love it when even the boss wants you to have a reason not to work XD
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Post by Daft Punksworth on Dec 3, 2012 23:30:57 GMT -5
We got new card readers at work. Brand. Spanking. New. I noticed a new lag between our bordering on nine year old, Win98 OS register machine and the brand spanking new card readers. I summarized why I think there is a lag like this:
"These are exactly a week old. These are nine years old. There's a language barrier there. The register goes: 'doest thou knowest what thou art doing?' And the card reader goes, 'dude, watchuu talkin bout, home dawg.'"
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Post by Daft Punksworth on Dec 4, 2012 21:37:23 GMT -5
Forgot about a girl at work.
Girl: mom, what does 'stick it to the man' mean?
Mom: .... Where did you hear that?
Girl: tv. Does it mean you find a stick and give it to him?
Mom: no, I...
Girl: and why a man? Stick it to the man, stick it to the girl, stick it to the man, stick it to the girl.
Mom: Shhhh, stop saying that!
Me: *next isle over, trying not to laugh*
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Post by GhostLiger on Dec 6, 2012 9:01:48 GMT -5
Lol, that makes total sense with the card reader and yus, kids come out with the strangest things sometimes when they don't realise it's a bad thing.
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Post by Daft Punksworth on Dec 7, 2012 6:26:17 GMT -5
Sometimes when my dorm fridge kicks off, it does something to make my hibernating laptop wake up. I was half asleep from waking up after half a night's sleep.
Fridge: vnnnnnnnnn. Karumn.
Computer: whiirrr.
Beck (TRON mouse) : VHIRRRRRRRRRR
Me: Go to SLEEP, Beck.
....
Computer: Avast virus database has been updated.
Me: ARRRRR GO TO SLEEP ME HARTIES.
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Post by Daft Punksworth on Dec 11, 2012 22:16:41 GMT -5
Laura was pissed that her drink was frozen. I'm still not sure her idea was a good one, but oh the conversation that arose from it.
Laura: I want to make an invention. Panties with pockets. So that I could hold this bottle down there!
Me: What?
Laura: Can you imagine people's faces when they see this infomercial at four in the morning? "Call within the next ten minutes and we'll give you a second pair free!"
Me: *thinking* wait a minute. Wouldn't that just be a portable cold shower?
Laura: *laughs* "Troubled by inconvenience?"
Me: "Having an awkward moment?"
Laura: "Jehovah's Witness come at the worst time?"
Me: *about drops a gallon-jug of juice laughing at that one*
Laura: "Aw MAAAN!" Ah-hahaha, that makes me think of Dora. "Swiper no swiping!"
Me: *dying*
(Ghostie, if this is a bit much, feel free to delete/edit. XD I just got a massive kick out of it. haha.) |
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Post by La Volpe on Dec 12, 2012 7:00:08 GMT -5
Oh god XD Love the Jehovah's line XDD
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Post by GhostLiger on Dec 12, 2012 14:59:26 GMT -5
ROFLMAO! Ingenious idea! XD
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Post by Coffee Mix-Master on Dec 13, 2012 16:40:13 GMT -5
Meanwhile on Teamspeak: [21:35:25] *chan* HunterICX: Btw that trailer of Pacific Rim when I heard that voice of Glados I was like..oh dear [21:35:54] *chan* HunterICX: I don't trust that as a Robot AI [21:35:56] *chan* Oberon: XD [21:36:12] *chan* HunterICX: but excellent choice imo  [21:36:49] *chan* HunterICX: What I don't get is why you need 2 pilots to control a robot :/ [21:37:17] *chan* Oberon: Indeed, should only need one 14 year old psychologically damaged boy or girl [21:37:21] *chan* Arctic Fox: One to slap the first in case of serious psychological trauma. NERV should have thought of that |
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Post by La Volpe on Dec 13, 2012 22:14:33 GMT -5
Evangelion ftw xD
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Pirate
Gungyados
Dame Lady Comrade Dr Ambassador Private Pirate PhD BA HMV AMV DBZ DVD MRSA The Third
I'M YELLING
Posts: 1,362
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Post by Pirate on Dec 16, 2012 17:33:43 GMT -5
Just an ordinary text conversation o_e
Me: Help I'm being stared down by a baby
Patrick: O god
Patrick: Don't move
Me: Are babies like t-rexes do they see with movement?
Patrick: Worse - they can smell fear.
Me: It has been distracted by two pieces of biscuit. I don't think it will last very long.
Me: A baby removal squad has removed the threat. That was a close one.
Patrick: Heavens be praised! Are you unharmed?
Me: I think so. I am still shaken from the incident though. It may take me some time to fully recover.
Patrick: I understand. No expense will be spared in psychiatric treatment.
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